sorry to have been gone so long, friends!  i'll be back soon.  but my gramma's birthday is today and i just couldn't let the day pass without honoring a very special woman.  this photo above ^^ with my pretty gramma is probably one of my very favorite pictures in the world.  i've always held gramma especially close to my heart.  i wish every single person could know her.  truly a neat lady.

she's so sassy and makes me laugh all the time! and she calls me lexi and makes me proud to have my quirks compared to hers (like crazy bed-head and our love for milk and learning about world war II).  but those days when her and grampa visit our house to have coffee and visit are my favorite times.

at christmas this year, dad worked on a little video project with our family, and took each person aside and asked them to share their highs and lows for the year 2013, as well as where they saw themselves in the next five years.  this little clip below is my gramma's response to these questions.  it makes me laugh so much and just miss her so darn much! (she's in arizona right now) but if every person can't know my gramma, at least they can see a little bit of her sassiness (:  haha, i especially love when she says "and a refridgerator for my dip" and when she sings! oh she's my favorite!  so much love in my heart for this person.

xoxo gramma! i love you...
happy birthday!

thank you for being my friend.  as i'm growing up, i've never cherished that more. 
thank you for loving God and setting your heart after Him.
thank you for leading our family with your love for God and establishing our house as one that serves Him.
thank you for giving me your eyebrows and your nose and your forehead (:
thank you for making me laugh.. all the time!  i definitely have a sweet spot in my heart for your humor!
thank you for your patience and for being slow to anger.
thank you for always letting me drive.
thank you for putting up with me.. all of me.. even the ugly parts.
thank you for leading our family towards healthy lifestyles that honor God with our bodies and food.
thank you for the way you treat women and the respect you give.
thank you that as long as i have known you i have seen you treat and love mom with so much faithfulness.
thank you for those car rides after home depot, beating the steering wheel like a drum with paint-stiring sticks to loud music.
thank you for loving music.  i know you're the reason i love music as much as i do.
thank you for being a person i know i can come to with my questions about God, and thank you for never shaming me for them.
thank you for being baptized with me. i’ll always treasure that.
thank you for introducing me to dark chocolate.
thank you for those times you go out of your way to come and visit me and spend time with me.
thank you for challenging my thoughts and opinions.
thank you for the questions you ask.
thank you that switchfoot’s song, your love is a song, will always remind me of you.
thank you for those spontaneous texts that affirm and encourage me.
thank you for the ways you work hard to provide for our family and support me.
thank you for showing me what it looks like to follow God with your life.
thank you for knowing how much i love eggs and always saving some for me on the stove when i'm home.
thank you for those times you watched i love lucy with me, even though you reeeaally didn’t want to (:
thank you for all of those summers you took me, paige, and nooms camping with our friends.
thank you for being so so interested in my friends!
thank you for being so interested in my stories even when they're about people you don't even know.
thank you for not being afraid to do hard things.
thank you for your humility.
thank you for loving me so much, always.  i've doubted many things in life, but never your love.
thank you for being a father who is so much like my heavenly Father.  you're not perfect, but your life has helped me understand the Lord more.


you’re the best man i know, dad.

happy birthday to one of the people i love most in the world.  cheers to beautiful living.

family, mom's eggbake, grandma's red pants, dim lights, old spice jokes (in my direction:)), intense charade games, Jesus cake, the camera falling, sass from gary, gifts, reflecting on the year, hugs, warmth, "i love yous," deep talks with tia, God with us {Emmanuel}, overwhelming gratitude.

if you'd like to take a look back at my Christmas reflections from last year, they still carry a lot of meaning for me, & yesterday officially marks 3 years of blogging!  woah! 

friends, i hope your christmases have filled your hearts and made you so aware of God & His love.

sometimes i just get so cheesy with saying my heart languages but i don't even care. 
like what even is a "heart language?" WOW, what a great question!  i'll tell ya! (;
i'd say they're little things that just getcha right in the heart... certain things, like trees and music, that you just can't put words to as to how they move you or make you feel.

one of mine is my name.
i haven't always liked my name, but i'll tell ya, when someone says "what do you think?" compared to "what do you think, alexi?" it just really means a lot.  i'm not sure why.

but my favorite favorite thing is when people call me lex.
and i think i've figured out it's because anyone can call me by my name, but only those who feel truly comfortable enough around me call me lex.. those who really know me, i think.  cuz an acquaintance isn't just gonna come up to me and call me lex.  so i feel like when people call me lex, it's like an honor.  it's almost like a trustworthy thing and a deeper knowing.
my family calls me lex. 
and lately so does my family here, at eau claire.  and it just means the world, i can't even tell you.

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."
Isaiah 43:1

^^^and here's a song that I've literally played about fifteen times straight, passed along by a person who means a lot to me.^^^

for coffee in the morning and coffee in the evening                                                                                                       for gramma and her sass and the gift she has of bringing everyone together
for a sister who lets me borrow her sweater and lets me hold her hand in the car                                                  for a holiday that is dedicated to pausing to be thankful, and together
for fireplaces
for safety
for an aunt who bakes a pumpkin pie just because she knows i love them                                                               for pumpkin pie
for my grandpa and how much he loves my gramma
for allison, and that she is in my family and is also my friend
for sweet texts all day long from people who just mean the world to me
for an aunt who gives cheek kisses
for my dad, makin me laugh all day long
for extended time at the table to lounge and talk and be together
for a thanksgiving eve service at church that seriously moved my heart
for mr grow and mrs grow and spencer and j.p. and riley.. each one very special.. they're family to me
for times when i get to grocery shop in target with my dad                                                                                           for being known, and known so deeply
for familiar trails
for lauren draayer
for God giving himself, and everything that comes with that.. (joy, deep love, life, peace, fullness)



i find that today, especially, my heart is troubled at the extent to which i have been given gifts that are ridiculously undeserved.  it just doesn't seem okay to have been given so much, and sometimes it just kind of puts me in shock and overwhelms me, almost too much to handle, if i think long enough about the kindness and goodness that God has extended to me throughout my life.  so if God is willing to appreciate the measly thanks that comes out of my mouth, i think i will be expressing that thanks as long as i am able.  i don't always want to thank God.  i snap and disappoint and fall short.  i worry and hurt and doubt and i know i have grieved him.  but he still chooses every day to love me, and give himself and every one of my needs.  so i think i can choose every day to thank him.  he is worthy of my life.  he is worthy of so much more than my life.

Day Twenty
20th October 2013
Okay, so this picture was still taken yesterday, so it counts! (: 
This is my fam (except Paige) dropping me off to meet my ride to head back to school.  I'm so thankful for the way my family takes care of me and loves me so well.  Just knowing I was so loved by them this weekend did so much for my heart when it comes to rest.  Plus, getting to wake up hearing my parents' voices downstairs is a sweetness I have come to really miss at school, but something I so love.  I thank the Lord for this family of mine every day. 
Until next time, family! xo.

I love how I am so familiar with that freckled nose.  I love how I know the face Paige makes when she's making a "Paige" face.  I love how I still remember silly conversations we had when I was eight and she was five and we shared a bunk bed.  I love how we know each other's "heart things" (things that touch our hearts the most) because we know each other so well.  I love how she was the one who was my best friend before I knew any other best friends.  I love how she makes fun of me (: & I love how she listens to me.  I love how Paige knows me, more than most people do.  I love that I can know Paige for her whole life, since the day she was born.

She's a senior now and she sent me some of her senior pics the other day.  I'm just so proud of the person she is.  She loves people really well.  And she really loves Jesus.  What an honor it is to be her sister.  Truly an honor. 

Sometimes I think about how of all the people who ever were and ever will be, God put Paige and my other sister, Sidney, with me.  And I just love that He did that.  What a beautiful thought.  I'm so grateful for this beautiful human being.

I love these pictures of my aunt, Tia.  She's always been Tia to me.  Her real name is Karen, but I didn't find out until I was at least seven that that is her name. (:

When I was little, my favorite memory of Tia is when she took me to the James J Hill House in St. Paul, just the two of us, and we walked through the old-fashioned rooms, soaking in the ways of another world, it seemed.  I have loved that place ever since and that memory is particularly special to me. 

She still does that: shows me beauty.  Beauty that fills the soul.  I am constantly amazed at her depth and the way she sees the world with such wonder... her capacity to be moved, to notice detail, to seek out knowledge: about culture, about art, about writing, about me.  She deeply loves language and words and has always encouraged me to write, and write often.  She is one of the reasons I have kept blogging these years.

If there is anything I can say about this woman it is that her depth comes from Jesus.  And it's really wonderful. 
And as of yesterday, this woman has been finding and bringing beauty to the world for fifty years!  I'm so grateful to God for such a well-lived life.
I love you, Tia.  So thankful to celebrate you.  Honored to be loved by you.

Today.. today was a day of BEAUTY and little-kid kind of JOY.. and adventurous curiosity and friendship.  I'll remember today for a long time: exploring my favorite places and delighting in the light of the sun. 
This time with my sister is always dear to me.  I love that beautiful soul.

I love you, Minneapolis & St Paul.  Thanks for letting us explore.
Til next time...

driving on a summer night with the windows down, taking in deep breaths.

borrowing my aunt Wendy's hair binder.  Something about borrowing those thick hair binders, I just love.  I feel like it's a friendship bracelet or something (:  I'm dorky, but when my friend, Angela, lent me one of hers, I wore it as a bracelet every day!

sunny nights when it feels like everyone around you is on vacation or something.

quiche at cute restaurants

noticing each other's quirks

being at my Grandma & Grandpa's house late.. well, really all the time, but late at night especially, just because of the lights & familiar smell.. even if it's just quick to grab something, it feels like home.  And Grandma & Grandpa will both ask about your night (:

Being told to drive carefully by Grandma & Grandpa, and later by aunt Wendy (:

people watching.  Gosh, people are pretty fascinating.

Taylor, Emily, & Wendy.. cousins & aunt, but also dear friends, too (:

^^the scene in the above picture, because it was taken tonight in a happy summer place (:^^