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an old letter to God

3/1/2014

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today was one of those flip-through-your-old-journals/ have-a-good-laugh-and-realize-how-much-you've-grown kinda days (:  but one of the entries from about a year ago really grabbed my heart.  i might have even shed a tiny tear.. probably because i forgot.  i forgot about how thankful i am for who God is and His faithfulness to me, always.  probably because i long for that knowing once again.  this entry is a little cheesy, but ha welcome to the journal of alexi speich (: that's just something i've learned to expect when i look back (: oh boy...

i hope it can bless you & remind you of a part of who God is (the more i live, the more i realize that i don't know & won't ever know the full picture of who He is), like it did for me.  a dearly needed reminder of His nearness to me today, still.

Picture
saturday, february 9, 2013 
dear Father,

thank You for Your faithfulness.  thank You for not leaving me in that dry place.  thank You for the way You never stop pursuing me with Your love.  thank You for knowing the layers of my heart.  God, i don't thank You enough!  i don't tell You how wonderful i think You are.  i love that when i lay in bed and the whole world around me is asleep, You remind me that You are in my midst- that You dwell within me, and as i sleep, i know deep within my heart and soul that i am not, or ever will be, alone.  i rest in peace and that strong security in knowing i will never be far from the hand of my Love, my beloved Father.  that You have searched me and You know me.  and, God, what can i say but thank You?  what can i do but give my life to such peace.  what can i help but to love You with every ounce of my being.  You are faithful, my God.  fill me with Yourself-

"when i found myself, i found loneliness and despair;
but when i found Christ, i found Him and everything else."

with my whole heart,

alexi.



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    Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall,

    I’m free to love once and for all
    And even when I fall I’ll get back up
    For the joy that overflows my cup 
    Heaven filled me with more than enough
    Broke down my levees and my bluffs
    Let the flood wash me.

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