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tonight, at Wendy's.

1/13/2013

1 Comment

 
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My aunt, Wendy, invited some of the family over to her house for appetizers and soup this evening and, well, I loved it.  I love these people and I feel so refreshed when I am with them... so completely comfortable and secure.  I treasure that.   It is a bit of a rare thing for me to feel absolutely content with myself due to the presence of certain individuals.  Perhaps this is a fault of mine or something I need to work on, but nevertheless, I dearly value these family members for their unconditional and secure love.  Their presence gives my heart rest as I don't worry about all of the stupid things I usually do, like what they are thinking of me, if I am saying the right thing, or how I come across.  I can simply be, and I know that their feelings towards me will not change if I say something wrong.  Are you getting what I mean?

    The night started with gray hair stories, ugly baby names, and wedding gown trend conversations, to wild
rice soup, Lifetime locker room horror stories, (: a little bit of the Golden Globe action, laughing at Youtube vids with the cousins, and ended with everyone discussing, respectfully arguing, and debating biblical controversies around the table... typical. (:  But as I watched and listened to my dad and uncle arguing their differing viewpoints, and my mom and grandpa chiming in with their thoughts, I just felt a feeling of incredible gratitude wash over me.  Gratitude for the fact that I was surrounded by people who all love Jesus, but also can maturely argue and even agree to disagree about what they believe about certain issues.

    Also my grandpa held my cheeks with his hands and said "You are loved and it is very good to have you
here" as we ended the night, and I might just treasure that in my heart forever.  I'm so grateful, and I really don't deserve any of this. 
Our family has our craziness, but at the end of the day, we really do love each other.

1 Comment
shirleycitrowske
4/17/2013 03:13:03 pm

Dear, dear Alexi, Thank you so much for opening your heart so fully. It's good to read you are finding your way into a Native American culture. They have as much to teach us as we have to teach them. You have a wonderful story. I enjoyed reading about your journey this year. Hope to see you this summer - mid July. Much to talk about. Your cup runneth over with LOVE. Hugs!

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    Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall,

    I’m free to love once and for all
    And even when I fall I’ll get back up
    For the joy that overflows my cup 
    Heaven filled me with more than enough
    Broke down my levees and my bluffs
    Let the flood wash me.

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